As i soaked in the bath tonight, something changed.
I looked over my body and felt a wave of grace; an overwhelming sense of compassion and appreciation and empathy for this body and all that it has endured and walked through in a year
Instead of my eyes seeing faults and imperfections; instead of staying in a place of disappointment at how far I haven’t yet come or how my body isn’t where I want it to be …
I felt almost like a friend to me, seeing me …
realizing – in the past year, this body has nursed a toddler, undergone surgeries, endured heavy chemo, more surgery, radiation.
And I am here, and I am well, and I feel nothing but overwhelming grace
as if I was seeing a friend that I loved so deeply, I saw me
and the tightness lifted
the pressure felt like it floated away
and I knew:
This path of healing has zig zags and dips and bends
and like a fighter after a bloody victorious battle,
I carry wounds. and those don’t heal overnight.
But I am healing.
I felt like I gave myself the warmest gentlest hug.